The past 2 days have been a nightmare

My good neighbor died early monday morning and I heard about it yesterday afternoon. She was in her mid 50's and died of cancer. It was 1st detected last year in the summer and I really thought she would live through it. It spread quickly to her brain and that is how she died. I already miss her dearly, she had a loud speaking voice that you could hear from 2 houses away

I didn't cry but I do feel like it but I can't(not just because I'm following the stereotype that boys don't cry) but today has been pretty tough and I did come close to breaking down. I didn't get a call back from old navy(said they would call on tuesday) and CL and indeed are pretty dry and I don't want to spend thanksgiving with my mom's distant great aunt so i was hoping I would have a job on thanksgiving. I don't want to spend thanksgiving there because I'll just get criticized for not having a job and I'll feel like a loser. Tomorrow I'll turn in an application at the 99 cents store and check when open interviews are at the local mcdonalds.

When I first started job hunting my mom didn't want me to work fast food because she said I would burn myself. But over the years she became somewhat ok with it but she didn't tell me and I'm still not sure my mom would want me working at mcds(she doesn't like anything I do). But anyways enough of that little rant, life just has a weird way of how it works and I sure do wish cancer didn't exist